Today, an announcement was made by The StarDock/Home Sector enterprises that they would be completing a hostle takeover of AOL-Time Warner, effectively merging with the company. This comes after The Stardock’s sweeping victories and merges with Tradewars.ws and Intergate technologies. Fuseblown, the official bitch of the tradewars community, had the following to say about the buyout.“We believe that this merger is in the best interests of the entire human species. The next stage of Human evolution is upon us, and only the strong will be left to survive.”Eleqtrizi’T, now owner of the biggest corporation in the world, changed his title from “CEO and Sex God” to “L’Emperor,” a title once bestowed on the great Napoleon. He also announced that the name of this merged company will be changed to America On-The-Stardock (AOTS). Stock closed today up $5.15

But all is not well in this new company’s land. Protestors gathered today at the company’s headquarters in Fresno, CA after the announcement was made. One such protestor was Joel “Steve” Gonzales who currently runs one of The Stardock’s rival companies, Tradewars.org. “By naming himself “L’Emperor,” Eleqtrizi’T has shown just how boastfull and conceted this merger had made him. … Well, he acted like this before, so I guess you could say he’s just being himself.”

Analysts believe that Eleqtrizi’T will now set his sites on LumCorp, after which he will own 95% of the world. To our new future world leader, we here at TWWU say this, “Don’t listen to that Joel guy! You’re just a nice person!”