Story Ripped from Hellbitch’s hideout

Saturday the 17th June dawned like any other in the WTC. Went in and watched Peacemaker make the corp. some cash, while Washed Up Evil (aka Ripclaw) was on line hunting for us and our bases. It has gotten to the
point that there are really only 2 main corps in the game, The Black Knights (Washed Up Evil, Artemis, ., Lord Chaos, Maverick and Rawhead Rex) and The Good, Bad and Indifferent (Guardian, Bad Girl, Peacemaker, Atog, Mirkath and me).

After a bit of a fracas the other day where Bad Girl found one of their SST areas and destroyed a heap of ships, the Black Knights have vowed to dispense with the “ants at their picnic” (that’s us) but although we are outgunned in terms of figs (they have quite a few more than they do) WE AINT GIVIN UP!

Anyways, back to the story…

The Black Knights were having rather a shitty day, with Ripclaw fusing his maxed ISS (so sad, pays back for mine the other day lol) and Artemis blowing his ship up on mines, but the fun didn’t really start until extern.

Only one trader got towed at extern (due to excessive figs) and that was Maverick and as luck would have it I found him sitting outside sector 10 cloaked and subsequently assisted with him greeting the day by firing a photon into him 😉

Having done that I soon found myself with company in sector 10, Terrorist Artemis with 99,605 fighters, in his Interdictor Cruiser. Thankfully our strategy of keeping us all on one corp and the blues fed safe was sweet, so I just sat and looked him up and down. Now I only had that one photon on me (though Artemis didn’t know that) and my only problem was to find another blue from the corp (or anywhere else for that matter! on-line to come to 10 with a photon, so I could refill my stocks) but alas, none were anywhere to be seen!

Shortly before the next hour, the man with the CAST IRON BALLS, the legend of NO FEAR! (Guardian lol) came on line in icq. I told him of my predicament and asked him what to do.

He rushed in to the game and somehow we managed to load up our IC at Stardock with 100k figs and I also managed to get 2 more photons and be in sector 10 when the hour turned (and before Artemis rescued his corpie)
to pump another photon into Mav.

Just when guardian was about to sneak up on Mav in the adjoining sector, who should appear on the scene in sector 10 but Washed Up Evil (Ripclaw) in his ISS with 50k figs.

Rip (to his credit) managed to warp into the adjoining sector with Mav, hit him with 5k figs and bump him into sector 10 before I could blink! (let alone fire a photon) and passing this information to Guardian brought on the response of “damn” (lol).
…

Now any person in their right mind would have left this little situation alone, and as I was typing to Guardian in sub-space “oh well, at least we got to photon Mav….” THIS happened!

Guardian warps into the sector.
Guardian is powering up weapons systems!
Guardian launches a wave of fighters at Maverick
Maverick’s Corporate FlagShip just exploded into a brilliant fireball!
An Escape Pod warps out of this sector!
Guardian is powering up weapons systems!
Guardian launches a wave of fighters at Artemis
Guardian is powering up weapons systems!
Washed Up Evil warps out of the sector.
An EtherProbe enters this sector and then self-destructs.

The end result of this little fun excursion (sheesh and it must have been fun at 4am US time ) was that Maverick was podded, Artemis had gone from being a Terrorist to having +4,500,000 alignment (part of Guardian’s
plan) and Rip simply NOT talking to us any more!! *sniff*

Recieved this from Macahan:

Well, there you have it. Hopefully all you Linux freaks will stop mailbombing me for being pro-windows.

I received this from Andrew “I Loooove Linux! And if you say differently, then I’LL ASSASINATE YOU!” Wyatt about the end of intergate which has been up 1.5 years:

In other news, a suicidal man who has been calling the suicide hotline twice a day for one and a half years, has mysteriously stopped calling.

It seems that barefoot, not content to sit on his laurels after being banned from the EIS forums, has now started Giving his infinite wisdom on the SWATH forums. Thanks to Mac The Knife, who should consider either releasing the Unix version of swath in the next ten years or give me a free copy of the win95 version, for the news.

r00t made an announcement that SWATH will be using DirectX for it’s graphical map. After This, every fanboy over at slashdot came over and said, “Linux rox, dood!” (If your not up to speed on your programming lingo, DirectX can only be run on Windows while OpenGL can be run on Linux and Windows. They both do practically the same thing.)

Well, if you had bothered to actually read the actual page, “SWATH for Unix is purely text based.” Call me crazy, but I don’t think it will have a graphical map. Besides, programing OpenGL when you don’t know what your doing is not easy. In fact, not easy is an understatement. It’s a lot like watching Battlefield Earth 3 times in a row and then having a scientologist explain to you the cultural impact the movie will make. Besides, it’s not like you need the Quake 3 engine for a graphical map.

What is it with these nonstop tournaments? Ever since the first Battle of the Elite two years ago, every server known to man has had at least one “tournament.” Recently, Intergate announced it’s Summer Heat “Tournament” which suspiciously looks like a regular Tradewars game but with the word “Tournament” tacked on. Here are a few of the things planned for this gam-uh, “Tournament:”

A) Low Turns
B) there will be some heavy hitting ships in the game along with some edited planets with fast advancing citadels.

In case you haven’t played at the Home Sector since it… I don’t know… HAS BEEN ONLINE, this probably would be a new thing to you. But as far as I know, there’s only one person who hasn’t played there.

C) Backstabbing, corp jumping..etc..will be part of this game

Hell, if I wanted to experience that, I’d just play at Notorious BBS.

But unlike some people, I’m not afraid of change. Therefore, I will now say “tournament” every time instead of “game.”

Much like a premature ejaculation, the time between someone asking for barefoot to be banned and when he was actually banned was extremely short. Unfortunatelly, this leaves me in a bad position: I no longer have anyone left to make fun of.

For Godsakes sign it already!

Game opened May 27th, 2000.

More Ph4t l33t will given to the winners of this year’s Battle of The Elite thanks to yours truely. I will be adding my Tic Tac Toe program written in C++ for Solaris to the prize pool. (Est. Retail Price: $29.99) This will be given to the winners. Here’s a few screenshots:

For a week or two, I thought that Barefoot might become aware that he is an asshole and might stop being one. High Hopes are shattered easier than low ones. Sigh.

I thought about replying to his latest holier than thou fest, but decided against it. He’s going to be banned anyway so there is really no point.